Hoping for Contagious… not cancer. MRI on Monday
Many have been asking for an update on AJ so here it goes. He is sick. Really sick. Fort he past 3 weeks he has seemed off. He is doing much better this week but still seems out of it. He is walking slower. Sleeping more. Looking tired most of the time. Wants to be held always.
I put on a big fun event for a large group last Saturday. We have put it on 4 years in a row. This year, the preparations the night before were different. Usually I am busy worrying about the details of the event. This time all I could think about on Friday night was how sick my baby AJ seemed to me. I cried a lot because everything he did reminded me of the week before he was
diagnosed. Slow footing, hint of tipsy, tired, wanting to play but his body was too weak, so instead I would just hold him as he watched others having fun. I felt like I was reliving it but this time we have already done what we were supposed to do to fix it.
Last Friday night, I snuck in to give him a kiss before I went to bed to prepare for my big day the following day and couldn’t leave. I just wanted to be next to him and feel his long eyelashes on my cheek. I wanted to feel his warm high fevered body that was like an electric blanket. Tears flowed, not sobbing, but soothing. Not wanting to show Michael how worried I was about the upcoming MRI, I tried to wait out the tears while laying next to AJ in his dark bedroom. I realized there was no hope of keeping it from Michael, but instead I needed him to share this with me and comfort me. He hugged me and held me as we discussed our fears and what little AJ’s future held. We knelt together and thanked our Father in Heaven for every day we get to have him and hold him and laugh with him. We prayed for strength to handle whatever news might come Monday or any day after that.
BUT, then something WONDERFUL happened… Hunter woke me up at 2 am EXTREMELY sick! We are talking gunk and yuck and blah! I did a little dance of joy in my groggy 2 am state grasping to the hope that perhaps my AJ’s sickness these past 2 weeks has been contagious… not cancer!
Of course we have no idea, but we like to hold on to the hope that it is just a bug, not a rapidly growing tumor.
I hesitated sharing any of this because I’m sure to the outsider it must seem overreacting. “Its just a cold…” some might think. And we hope it is. But every time a cold comes to this boy, I’m going to wonder what is really going on inside that head, literally.
Hunter is feeling better today. AJ is a bit better too but still struggling in some things and not back to 100%.
Monday will be the day, maybe not for answers… but at least for an update. We are looking forward to our MRI to see what, if any, growth can be seen of his cancer.
Prayers and love appreciated! Thanks!